The roadmap to menopause has a massive psychological toll booth right at the entrance: The Denial Phase.
It is incredibly common to feel resistance. You hear the word “menopause” and you recoil. “I’m too young for this.” “I’m not like those women.” “I’ll just power through it.”
Why We Resist
Our culture has done a terrible job of branding menopause. We associate it with decline, obsolescence, and being “dried up.” Admitting you are in perimenopause feels like admitting you are no longer relevant. So we deny it. We blame our symptoms on everything else. “I’m tired because work is crazy.” “I’m gaining weight because I haven’t been to the gym.” “I’m anxious because of the news.”
The Cost of Denial
Denial is expensive. It keeps you suffering in silence. It keeps you trying to fix a hormonal problem with non-hormonal tools. You try to out-diet your metabolic slowdown (and fail, leading to eating disorders). You try to out-work your fatigue (and crash into burnout). You try to fix your marriage with date nights when the problem is that your libido has biologically vanished.
As long as you are in denial, you cannot access the toolkit that will actually help you. You cannot ask your doctor for HRT if you refuse to admit you need it. You cannot change your workout to suit your aging body if you are still trying to train like you are 25.
The Pivot to Acceptance
Acceptance isn’t giving up. It isn’t saying “I’m old and finished.” Acceptance is a strategic pivot. It is looking at the data—the sleep loss, the cycle changes, the mood swings—and saying, “Okay. This is happening. My operating system is changing.”
Once you accept it, you regain power. You move from Fighting your body (“Why won’t you cooperate?!”) to Supporting your body (“What do you need right now?”).
This shift is the most important step on the entire roadmap. Until you take it, you are just spinning your wheels in the mud. Once you take it, you can start driving again.