In the West, we have a grim view of menopause. We see it as a “Loss.” Loss of youth, loss of fertility, loss of looks, loss of value. We treat it like a disease to be cured, or a shame to be hidden. We buy “Anti-Aging” creams because the very concept of aging is the enemy.
But this narrative is not universal. Throughout history and across cultures, menopause has been viewed not as an ending, but as an Elevation. It is the transition from the role of the Nurturer to the role of the Leader. If we want to navigate this transition with our souls intact, we need to borrow the lens of the “Wise Woman.”
The Evolutionary Argument: The Grandmother Hypothesis
Humans are unique. We are one of only three species on Earth (along with Orcas and Pilot Whales) where the female lives for decades after she stops reproducing. Why? Evolution doesn’t do things by accident. If we were useless after fertility, we would die at 50 (like chimpanzees do). The fact that we survive means we have a Biological Purpose beyond making babies. This is The Grandmother Hypothesis. Anthropologists believe that post-menopausal women were the key to human survival.
- They foraged for food to feed the weaned children, allowing the younger mothers to have more babies.
- They held the “Tribal Knowledge”—how to survive a drought, which plants are medicine, how to resolve conflict. We are not designed to fade away. We are designed to be the safety net and the library for the tribe.
The Orca Matriarch
Look to the Orcas (Killer Whales). The pod is led by the oldest female (often in her 80s or 90s). She is post-menopausal. When food is plentiful, the young males lead. But when the salmon are scarce—when there is a crisis—the Matriarch takes the lead. She is the only one who remembers where the salmon were 40 years ago during the last famine. The pod survives because of her memory. Lesson: In times of crisis, experience outweighs physical strength. Menopause is the graduation into leadership.
Cultural Reframes
1. Japan: “Konenki” In Japan, the word for menopause is Konenki.
- Ko: Renewal / Regeneration.
- Nen: Years.
- Ki: Season / Energy. It translates to “The Season of Renewal and Energy.” It is viewed as a major life transition, similar to puberty, but focused on the spirit rather than the body. Japanese women historically report fewer hot flashes than Western women—partly due to diet (soy), but perhaps partly due to a cultural narrative that doesn’t catastrophize the event.
2. Native American Traditions: The White-Haired Ones In many indigenous cultures, a woman does not become a full member of the tribal council until she has passed her “Moon Time” (menstruation). While she is bleeding, her energy is directed inward and downward (creation). When she stops bleeding, she retains her “Wise Blood.” Her energy turns outward and upward. She becomes a “Dreamer” and a “Seer.” She is no longer responsible for one family; she becomes the “Great Mother” responsible for the whole community.
The Modern Crone
We have lost these rituals. We don’t have tribal councils. We have boardrooms and Zoom calls. But the archetype is still there, waiting to be claimed. The “Crone” used to be a word of power (related to Crown). It meant a woman who had mastered life. How do we embody the Wise Woman today?
1. Radical Truth-Telling The “People Pleaser” dies in menopause. The Wise Woman has no time for politeness that masks injustice. She speaks the truth, even if it is uncomfortable. This is her service to the world.
2. Mentorship over Competition The Maiden competes for attention. The Mother protects her own. The Crone mentors. She is secure in her power, so she lifts up the younger women. She passes the torch rather than trying to hoard the flame.
3. The Legacy Mindset You stop worrying about “How do I look?” and start worrying about “What am I leaving behind?” Whether it is art, a business, a garden, or a philosophy, the post-menopausal years are the time for your “Magnum Opus”—the great work of your life.
You have walked through the fire. You have survived the storm. Do not try to pretend you are still a girl. Put on your crown. The tribe needs you.